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نكتة 2016

ﺍﺳﺘﺎﺫ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻣﻌﺔ ﻭﻫﻮ ﻛﺎﻳﺸﺮﺡ ﺳﻤﻊ ﺻﻮﺕ ﺗﺼﻔﻴﺮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻘﺴﻢ !؟
ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺖ ﻋﻨﺪ ﺍﻟﺘﻼﻣﻴﺬ ﻭﻗﺎﻝ :
ﺷﻜﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﺻﻔّﺮ ؟ !!
ﺣﺘﻰ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻣﺎ ﺟﺎﻭﺑﻮ !!
ﺍﻻﺳﺘﺎﺫ ﺣﻂ ﺍﻟﺴﺘﻴﻠﻮ ﻭ ﺳﺪ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺘﺮ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻝ ﺳﺎﻟﻴﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﺪﺭﺱ ..
ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻏﺎﺩﻱ ﻧﻌﺎﻭﺩ ﻟﻴﻜﻢ ﻗﺼﺔ ﻭﻗﻌﺎﺕ ﻟﻲ ﺍﻟﺒﺎﺭﺡ !!
ﺍﻟﻄﻼﺏ ﻛﺎﺗﺴﻤﻌﻮ ﻟﻴﻪ ﻛﻠﻬﻢ ﻭﺑﻜﻞ ﺗﺮﻛﻴﺰ !
ﻗﺎﻝ : ﺍﻟﺒﺎﺭﺡ ﺑﺎﻟﻠﻴﻞ ﻣﺎﺟﺎﻧﻴﺶ ﺍﻟﻨﻌﺎﺱ
ﻗﻠﺖ ﻧﺨﺮﺝ ﻧﺪﻳﺮ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺯﻭﻁ ﻓﻲ ﻃﻮﻧﻮﺑﻴﻞ
ﻭ ﻧﺪﻭﺭ ﺷﻮﻳﺔ ﺑﺎﺵ ﻧﻀﻴﻊ ﺍﻟﻮﻗﺖ
ﻭﺃﻧﺎ ﺭﺍﺟﻊ ﻓﻲ ﺁﺧﺮ ﺍﻟﻠﻴﻞ ﻟﻘﻴﺖ ﺑﻨﺖ ﺯﻭﻳﻨﺔ ﻭﺍﻗﻔﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻳﻖ !
ﻭﻗﻔﺖ ﻋﻨﺪﻫﺎ ﻭ ﻗﻠﺖ :
ﻭﺍﺵ ﻧﻮﺻﻠﻚ ؟
ﻗﺎﻟﺖ : ﺍﻩ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻳﺨﻠﻴﻚ .
ﻗﻠﺖ : ﺭﻛﺒﻲ.
ﺭﻛﺒﺖ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻜﺮﺳﻲ ﺍﻷﻣﺎﻣﻲ ﻭﺑﻘﻴﺖ ﻛﺎﻧﻬﺪﺭ ﻣﻌﻬﺎ
ﻭﺍﻧﺪﻫﺸﺖ ﻣﻦ ﺛﻘﺎﻓﺘﻲ ﻭﻋﺠﺒﺘﻬﺎ
ﻭﻣﻠﻲ ﻭﺻﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻟﻠﺪﺍﺭ ﺩﻳﺎﻟﻬﻢ
ﺻﺎﺭﺣﺘﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻋﺠﺎﺑﻬﺎ ﻭﺣﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺣﺘﻰ ﺍﻧﺎ ﺻﺎﺭﺣﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻧﻲ ﻛﺎﻧﺒﺎﺩﻟﻬﺎ ﻧﻔﺲ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ
ﻭﻗﻠﺖ ﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻧﺎ ﺍﺳﺘﺎﺫ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻣﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻔﻼﻧﻴﺔ ﻭﺧﺪﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻨﻤﺮﺓ ﺩﻳﺎﻟﻲ ﻭﻗﺎﻟﺖ :
ﺣﺒﻴﺒﻲ ﻋﻨﺪﻱ ﻃﻠﺐ ﻣﻨﻚ !
ﻗﻠﺖ : ﺍﻩ ﻗﻮﻟﻲ ﺍﺣﻮﺑﻲ !
ﻗﺎﻟﺖ : ﺧﻮﻳﺎ ﻛﺎﻳﻘﺮﻯ ﻋﻨﺪﻛﻢ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻣﻌﺔ
ﻭﺑﻐﻴﺘﻚ ﺗﻬﻼ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻭﻧﻮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻘﺮﺍﻳﺔ
ﻗﻠﺖ : ﺍﻩ ﻛﻮﻧﻲ ﻫﺎﻧﻴﺎ .. ﺷﻨﻮ ﺳﻤﻴﺘﻮ ؟
ﻗﺎﻟﺖ : ﻣﺎ ﻏﺎﺩﺍﺵ ﻧﻘﻮﻟﻚ ﺳﻤﻴﺘﻮ ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻧﺘﺎ ﻣﻤﻜﻦ ﺗﻌﺮﻓﻮ
ﺗﻠﻘﺎﺋﻴﺎ ... ﺑﻮﺍﺣﺪ ﺍﻟﺤﺮﻛﺔ ﻛﺎﻳﺒﻐﻲ ﻳﺪﻳﺮﻫﺎ
ﻗﻠﺖ : ﻭﺷﻨﻮ ﻫﻲ ﻫﺎﺩ ﺍﻟﺤﺮﻛﺔ؟؟
ﻗﺎﻟﺖ : ﻫﻮ ﻛﺎﻳﺒﻐﻲ ﻳﺼﻔﺮ ﺩﺍﻳﻤﺎً !
ﺷﻮﻳﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻼﻣﻴﺬ ﻛﺎﻣﻠﻴﻦ ﺷﺎﻓﻮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻤﻴﺬ
ﻟﻲ ﻛﺎﻥ ﻛﺎﻳﺼﻔﺮ ...
ﺷﺎﻑ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﺎﺫ ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﻟﻴﻪ :
ﻧﻮﺩ ﺍﻭﻟﻴﺪﻱ ﻧﻮﺩ ﻛﺎﻳﺤﺴﺎﺏ ﻟﻚ ﻏﻴﺮ ﺟﻴﺖ ﺍﻭﻟﻴﺖ ﺍﺳﺘﺎﺫ
ﻫﻬﻬﻬﻬﻬﻬﻬﻬﻪ
نكتة 2016 Reviewed by Ahmad Mohamed on 3:57 AM Rating: 5

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